Booster shot

   I had the Moderna booster shot in December with mild symptoms that lasted a couple of days. I experienced mild pain at the injection site and the next day had a mild headache and a light fever. All were resolved the very next day. I continue to be careful in enclosed spaces where many people gather but, getting these shoits allow me to travel which is a pleasure of mine. I can also teach in small groups and meet friends who are vaccinated. Some of these activities, including plane travel, require careful attention to safety protocols but, it is a risk I am willing to take. Whatever your personl choices are, I wish you good health and good cheer to all in the coming year!

2nd Moderna Vaccine Experience

2nd Moderna vaccine-

Last Thursday I had the second vaccine shot and it was different from the 1st one. In the 1st one, there was a lot more arm pain and some dizzyness and I was very tired. This time, there was very little arm pain but there was more of a fever. I think that my body responded to the second shot with a big fight and showed how ready it was to fight against something that looked like Covid. The body naturally heats up when it fights a cold or this vaccine. 

I was aware that my heart was beating faster on occasion, that my joints ached more and my muscles seemed to tense up. I allowed all these experiences to be there and even encouraged them to move through my body knowing that it would pass. I did not exercise or move anywhere my body did not want to move! I napped a lot and allowed my body to receive the vaccine because I knew it would help me! 

It is now Saturday and I feel that the effects of the 2nd vaccine are retreating. I rested a lot after I got the vaccine, read a good book when I wanted and watched a movie in the evening to relax and allow the vaccine to move through. 

On Fear

   Those with trauma have fear about many things, - afraid to speak our truth, afraid to be seen, afraid to express feelings, afraid to get it wrong, afraid of the past and worried about the future, ashamed of our bodies, afraid to connect with others, ashamed that we can't connect! We become afraid of fear itself and we lose touch with this important emotion. Fear tells us what we need to look at and it speaks through our waking experiences and comes up as a creative drama in our dreams.

   I went to an amusement park as a teenager and rode a roller-coaster ride called "Jack Rabbit" that was featured there. I sat in the front cart for maximum effect and allowed myself to be belted in securely. The ride started slowly up the major incline and I felt my body start to energize and my breathing become shallow. I checked the harness to make sure I was safe in my seat and I ignored the screaming people around me. As we moved toward the crest before the steep drop, all my senses were on high alert but I was calm and my breathing deeper. As we began the descent, I found myself "letting go" into the experience, my breath calm and time slowed so I could experience each moment. Letting go now when I wake with a scary dream, means that I focus on the sensations in my body as I am waking up and notice how my breathing slows and how my body comes out of fear. Then I review the dream itself and seek the message it was bringing to me.

Anger and complaining

When we are shut in and movements are limited, anger and its siblings irritation and frustration can set in. With trauma, these feelings get compressed and can burst out in unkind words and arguments. The roots of anger start out as a complaint that, unheard, starts to escalate. Everyone has a right to complain, but that does not mean that you get what you want! Try sitting in a car alone (or another safe space) and really complain about everything out loud for your ears only. If you want, you can share these later with family. This may help uncouple the complaint from irritation and frustration. Peace to all!

Fear in the time of covid 19

With so much anxiety about this virus all over the world it brings fear to those of us who grew up being afraid. Fear is an emotion that cannot be stopped but, needs to be explored first in the body to localize sensation, then, to be expressed as a feeling. Feelings need to be shared with others who care about you so they can be received. Spoken and received feelings can come to completion. Move your body if you feel you are getting numb. Squeeze your ribs on either side to relax the breathing diaphragm which can get stuck when we are afraid. Share you're learning with others around fear. Invite your partners and your children to talk about their feelings. Be safe and stay healthy!